One of your greatest assets is your willpower, your decision-making, your discipline.
This is what we’re told. It’s also what we see. Most of us wouldn’t be where we are without hard work or ability to change our circumstances.
And so we come to expect that the world will always respond in kind. That it will do what we want. That things will more or less go our way.
It’s this, that makes a relatively simple and straightforward piece of advice so hard to accept. Especially when we’re young. Especially if we’re ambitious.
Acceptance. It’s just fucking hard.
Not just hard because it means tolerating things we don’t like, but because it feels weak.
Your struggles are lonely,
Lonely most of the time.
As I gaze out of window,
I see colours of Diwali brightening the sky.
And I sit there with my battles to fight,
Miss the time with family but
Have to digest that feeling,
To do what I have to.
Time is all powerful,
Said the hanging clock.
May be you are alone now but
This shall too pass.
These are your battles to fight,
Your battles to win over yourself.
Did Van Gough in ‘Starry Nights’ sense and paint the true nature of our Universe while in the mental asylum? Scientists say he did.
Van Gough painting reminds me of description of Churning of Cosmic Ocean (the Milky Way) in Valmiki’s Ramayana and the Mahabharata.
And one day you would want to find those people whom you’ve lost, to whom you had spilled your vulnerabilities and darkest secrets by baring your soul, and see if by facing them you can find those parts of yourself that you had lost somewhere when they had disappeared or left. But rather than finding a ‘you’ in them, you’ll stumble upon finding a ‘them’ in you – their favourite songs in your playlist, their favourite movies, their lingo at the tip of your tongue and their memories fresh in your mind. What you thought was making you whole all this while were actually parts of them filling up the voids that they had left you with. But don’t worry because people are not like the pages of a diary that you can find them in your drawer stuffed beneath the ruckus of things that you’ll probably never need. They are like stars – strange, beguiling, fascinating and not so close as they appear to be.
You are the story you tell yourself.
Don’t like your life?
Change your own narrative.
Tell yourself a different story. Of yourself.
As humans age, our minds shed negative memories and hang on to the more positive ones. This is called the “Positivity Effect.”
“Indeed — why should I not admit it — in that moment my heart was breaking.”
– Remains of the day, Kazuo Ishiguro.