It is painful, it hurts big-time when you see the person you want to see last, happy while you are nowhere with your own life. 

It’s not like you want to hurt that person but you can’t see them happy with someone else.

It gets harder by day. Somehow you manage to stand up and bamn!.. There it is another blow, and you fall again. Out of this misery somehow you start loving to be in that messy situation. 

I don’t know if it’s good or bad?